allow me to re-introduce myself.

As I was restlessly laying awake last night from midnight to what felt like forever, I started thinking about a lot of things. My thoughts initially gravitated towards the idea of ripping my eyelids off because they were inexplicably dry and itchy, but then my thoughts started going off into multiple tangents. The one that stuck the most was inspired by a lecture I attended the other night. It was about the cost and effects of socialization, but an important part of discussion revolved around a person's self identity versus his or her social identity. In short, who we define ourselves to be often comes into conflict with what society wants us to be. For women, we have continuously been told how we should monitor our gendered actions. Women are supposed to be shy, modest, coy, pure, and innocent. We're expected to be emotional creatures. We should be strict when it comes to maintaining our charm, our wit, our good looks. We have to be supportive of our families and our men. We're supposed to be the Mary's, not the Madonna's.

Those who know me best know that I'm far from being all of those things. But at the same time, most don't truly know all of me, just the parts that I feel are appropriate for our relationship. But sometimes it gets exhausting remembering which role I'm trying to play for each specific individual.

So hi- I'm Celestine. I'm going to school to be an elementary school teacher, grade undecided. I'm a daughter, a sister, a niece, a granddaughter, an aunt, and a girlfriend. I say "No thank you, ____" rather than a straight-up "No." I'll hold a door open if I see you coming right behind me. I don't like to drive over the speed limit. I'm a nice girl, a shy girl.

I also have three tattoos for now, and I plan on getting many more when I'm adequately funded. I used to smoke blunts and not give a fuck. I'm trying to quit smoking, but sometimes shit's just necessary. And I like to talk about sex because I'm a sexual being.

This is who I am, no safeguard. Take it, leave it, love it, hand it off to someone else.

I'm still writing on my other blog, but this one's more for me to truly show all ya'll strangers who I really am. No, not an alter ego blog; a blog for an unaltered ego.