22 April 2011

RE: strangers, again.

Two bloggers that I follow posted this video, so I felt compelled to re-blog it.


As much as I liked watching this, there were a few things that I had to comment on and a few things that weren't discussed.

This video was addressing relationships that unfortunately didn't make it to forever. My issue was how the narrator Josh idealized the girl and the relationship in what he described as Stage Two. There is no such thing as a perfect partner nor a perfect relationship. Once you succumb to that fairy-tale fallacy, reality will inevitably kick in and kick your ass, and you'll be left with disappointment and despair. It's not fair to yourself nor to the person you're in a relationship with to place him/her on such a shiny pedestal. We all have our flaws, and trying to heavily conceal those specks of imperfection will only result in a bumpy foundation- that also goes for makeup, but that's another day, another blog. Yes- it's important to embrace the amazing, beautiful qualities of your partner, but it's also important to acknowledge the ugly aspects too.

That spills over into what was described as Stage Four: Comfortable. A lot of people think that this stage of the relationship is the worst, but I think it's the best stage. There's nothing wrong with being comfortable with someone you're in a long-term relationship with. In fact, it's such a nice break from the "Honeymoon Stage" where you're slowly starting to figure one another out. The "Comfortable Stage" is my favorite part, because there's no more of the need to try so extremely hard; in fact, I don't think there should ever be a need to try so extremely hard for someone, but again that's another day, another blog. If you know how to properly handle this stage, there won't be any other "stages" that your relationship can delve into. As a matter of fact, let's just call this the "Unconditional Stage." This is the point of your relationship where you've accepted the minuscule ugly characteristics of your partner because you know that in the end, it doesn't even matter; and it's also because you've realized that he/she has decided that all your ugliness ain't even that bad too.

If people stopped dreading the "Comfortable Stage" and instead started acknowledging it as the "Unconditional Stage," then there wouldn't be the depressing stage where you're sitting alone in your room sifting through a shoebox of old pictures, love notes, and memories. As glamorous as the "Honeymoon Stage" is, it's unrealistic to try and keep your relationship stuck in that stage. The beautiful thing about being in a relationship is the growth that you go through, together and separately; therefore, stunting your growth because you're trying to keep everything perfect and new will only result in 808s and heartbreaks.

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